How about we begin with a few simple questions… Do you enjoy confrontation? Do you confront others in times of disagreement? Does it bother you when others confront you? Okay, with those answers in mind, what would you think if I told you that I desire a world of confrontation?
Perhaps you’re wondering why I would wish such a thing or how constant disputes could be beneficial. Don’t worry, I’ll explain….
Recently I’ve been thinking about our world and our constant desire to avoid confrontation from others, or even confronting people about our own desires. It made me realize how little we allow for confrontation, and how much a lack of confrontation limits our growth. It’s not that I desire a world existing of World War III, or that I desire fists to constantly be smashing the teeth of their enemies…. If that’s what your thinking, than you’re certainly not understanding my mindset.
One of my great friends, Ryan, has known me for many years. In high school we hit a speed bump, a bump that was only solved because he confronted me on the issue. Down the road we’ve each addressed each other in areas of life that we believe the other may be failing; even to the point of confronting ourselves on negatives we see slowly emerging. If Ryan hadn’t confronted me in the past, or either of us continuing to confront each other in our life, we would not have grown in our friendship or grown in our personal maturity and wisdom.
So often in our world we forget the idea of confrontation, we cross it off our list of options because it seems cruel or rude. The fact of the matter is that confrontation is the mature route to take and shows a great deal of maturity. When we spread rumors to friends or post subtle attacks on Facebook/Twitter/and other social media outlets, we actually provoke greater conflict and negativity. Instead of being above the conflict, you’ve lowered yourself into the pit and essentially dwell with the ones you’ve mocked.
I sin, I commit wrong doings on a regular basis… sometimes I even know what I’m about to do is wrong, yet I continue forth in my actions. Anyone who is reading this and knows me, would likely be capable of producing an extensive list of my failures (also known as lessons).
Spread rumors, tell the world what I’ve done… That’s your decision to make.
But instead I suggest an alternative. Come to me and stare me in the eye. Express your disgust or disappointment for the actions of my past, I welcome the criticism with open arms. You may view these scenarios as a negative in your daily life, I view them as a rare opportunity. They are a time to learn, a time to grow, and I time to have deep conversation with another about the challenging aspects in life.
Love your enemies just as you have loved your friends, show your love by confronting them when confrontation is needed… Remember, we are refined through the fire. Confrontation is a chance to be put through the fire, growing in wisdom and maturity through the challenges of life.